You don't have to be heartbroken to get it.

This one’s for the guys…

Ever wonder what goes on inside the single woman’s mind when it comes to dating? It’s not as dark, mysterious, or scary as you might think. In fact, by getting to know what and how we think, you may just discover a thing or two that’ll make trying to date us easier. Then again…

We’re not all about looks, so you shouldn’t be either
While we appreciate the aesthetics of six-pack abs, bulging biceps, and a great butt, you don’t have to have them for us to consider you a catch. But just as we’re willing to accept your beer belly and/or back hair, you should accept us as we are. And even though we don’t look like Angelina Jolie, when you compliment us on our curves, calves, or killer smile, we kinda feel like her. (Hint — that would make you Brad Pitt, and most of us would do a whole lot to Brad in the bedroom. Bring on the compliments!)

We like it when you make the first move (but if you don’t, we might)
Click here to read the full article on eHarmony.com

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Want to improve your chances of dating success? Check that emotional baggage…

Good luck and happy dating!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

My New Zealand trip has been extended so no teleseminars/webinars for now. But stay tuned - they’re coming back in August-September! In the meantime, there are plenty of webcast replays available to listen and learn from. Check ‘em out:

How to Become Relationship Ready

How to Break Free of Bad Love Habits

26 Secrets Successful Singles Know

How to Publish Non-fiction

How to Keep your Breakup from Becoming a Breakdown

Enjoy!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Having trouble maintaining distance from your ex? Taking his calls, emails, texts? It just might be time to hold yourself accountable…

Good luck and happy healing!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Woohoo! eHarmony continues publishing my articles. Here’s one on dealing with your ex…

Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That’s where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other’s lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future:

Create new Boundaries
Your best defense after a breakup? Immediately create new boundaries with your ex. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texting, and definitely no late-night visits. Your ex is now your ex. That means it’s time to “ex-tricate” him or her from your life.

Read the full article here on eharmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

In the search for love, it’s easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the journey toward happily ever after, bad love habits can and should be avoided at all costs.

So what’s a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, difficult notion you have about love and relationships is a bad love habit. The following are some common ones:

□ Do you choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs?

□ Do you think love have to be difficult, painful, and/or hard?

□ Do you think your potential partner is going to fix whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself or your life?

□ Do you believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children?

The following are some simple and effective ways to kick any bad love habit:

Asess your excess baggage
First, it’s important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates. What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. It’s probably time to let go of that excess baggage.

Dump your excess baggage
In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve one. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they’ve got to go. Thank them for the lessons you’ve learned and tell them that it’s now time for you to stand on your own 2 feet. In your mind’s eye, give them the heave ho!

Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness
So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like “I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job,” etc. The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute! When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, celebrate joy in your everyday life.

Embrace a new dating vocabulary
Now that you’re baggage light, it’s time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself “Love/dating/my ideal relationship is ____.” And then fill in the blank with the appropriate words. (Words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.) By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes too, and as a result, you may start attracting happier and healthier potential partners.

Want more info on breaking free of bad love habits? Click here.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

It’s a dating jungle out there, as frequent contributor LJMaggie has recently been reminded of…

I am not really sure right now. Things with the Single Dad were going along really good. Every time we were together we had fun and enjoyed each other’s company. I wasn’t sure where things were going but excited about the possibilities. That was all until a week ago. We shared another great night together, laughing listening to music and falling asleep in each other’s arms. And now I haven’t heard from him in over a week. I honestly couldn’t tell you why either. I keep going over everything in my head trying to figure it out and I can’t. I called once after the holiday to see how his weekend was and nothing. Then the other day I sent him a text because I am genuinely worried and wanted to know if things are okay and still nothing. I am not really sure what to do.

When I sought advice from a couple of trusted guy friends of mine, they didn’t know what to think either. But they did tell me I should just lay low for a while and even move on. The more I look back on certain actions, I realize I might have thought it could be more than it was. It was hard to face that reality but it is something I have to accept. I am still worried about him because I haven’t heard anything but know I can’t wait around.

The recent events have made me realize it is time to focus on me. I recently launched my website and yesterday I colored my hair completely different. I just went into the salon with a picture and said I need a change. It is a little scary but also very exciting. I have to take time to get to know myself again and listen to Mercy by Duffy.

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LJ Maggie was conceived in a small rural town in Wisconsin, where she was the only girl of 4. Growing up with 4 men in the house accounts for her strange sense of humor and independence. Through various career changes and much soul searching, she has found her true passions, music and writing, combining the two whenever she gets a chance. Her friends admire her for her strength, independence and courage to go after her dreams. Inspiration for all of her work comes from various stages and situation in her life. She is currently working on her first novel loosely based the relationship with The EX.

In order to heal and move on from your breakup, you’ll want to find a visual symbol of your recovery…

Good luck and happy healing!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Recently, I blogged about appearing on New Zealand’s TVNZ Show “Good Morning.” I’m thrilled to say I will be on again this coming Friday. Here’s my first appearance…

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Mssy writes: “My boyfriend and I broke up. It came out of the blue. He’d told me he’d loved me for the past 5 years and then went away one weekend and in 4 days was over me. I am heart broken. We had planned a life together. We work together and share the same group of friends so I have to see him everyday. I am able to hold it together (around him) but he is starting to send mixed signals and they get more confusing everyday. For example, telling me how good I look, staring at me constantly, brushing up against me, and now he even offered to drive me to a staff dinner he wasn’t even going to. I’m totally confused. He says he wants to be friends but his actions are saying something different and I keep getting my hopes up that he will come back.”

Lisa says: I feel your pain! As someone who has been there, i.e. trying to stay friends with the ex after a breakup, and having to see him every day at the office, I know how difficult it is. Plus, you’re dealing with disappointment and loss. The key to your survival during this difficult time is that you must create new boundaries with your ex. He is going to test those boundaries constantly (don’t let him - he can flirt with you and still move on. As a woman, it’s trickier!) You have to be strong enough to call him on his inappropriate behavior (brushing up against you, offering you a ride, etc.). That is absolutely unacceptable. Your relationship has changed. He no longer gets to check you out, give you compliments, invade your space, etc. It’s time to change the dynamic. You can remain friendly, but for now, you cannot be friends. That’s an important distinction to make. From now on, only discuss work related matters, and anything else that you have to talk about. Don’t talk about how you’re handling the breakup, if you’re moving on, if you’re dating other people. Your ex may be sending you mixed signals, but it’s up to you to decode them and say Enough!

Good luck and happy healing!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."